How to Date Someone with BPD

Stephanie, of Jacksonville, Florida, has struggled with depression since she was a child. But in , her mental health took a turn for the worse and her mood swings started to create conflict with her husband, Jerome. At first, Stephanie was diagnosed with bipolar disorder , but when she found another doctor who took the time to complete a thorough evaluation, she learned the true culprit was borderline personality disorder BPD , which she was diagnosed with six months later. Borderline personality disorder BPD is a mental illness that can cause affected individuals to have a negative self-image, make risky or impulsive choices, engage in self-harming behaviors, and have intense emotions and mood swings. It goes without saying that these symptoms can create a perfect storm for a tumultuous relationship that in some cases may prove destructive. As of that month, the pair hadn’t confirmed the cause of their split. That fear of abandonment can lead people with BPD to mistrust their partner. A study published in the journal Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment found that after talking to their spouses about personal fears and possible reasons their relationship might end, women with BPD experienced a lower perception of trustworthiness in their spouse compared with women without BPD. The instability and unpredictability of the relationship itself can cause the partner without BPD to have trust issues as well.

Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder

By: Damian Gadal. Borderline personality relationships — avoid, or maybe? The fact is that people with BPD are, well, people. Does that mean you should date someone with borderline personality disorder?

Dating someone with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) is not an impossible task despite what you often read about on the internet. A relationship with a.

Borderline personality disorder is often confused with a bad temper. And it is not surprising because people with this diagnosis behave unpredictably: they make a declaration of love to their partners and, in a minute, they consider them the enemy number one. How else does BPD manifest? What are the specifics of the disorder and diagnosis?

Is borderline personality disorder and dating possible? This illness most often develops during adolescence or early youth. It manifests itself in emotional instability, impulsive behavior, distorted perception of own personality, the tendency to unstable relationships. What are the borderline personality disorder causes? It is believed that genetic features, an unfavorable emotional environment according to some researchers, psychological and physical violence suffered in the early years of life, increases the probability of developing this disorder and low serotonin production the so-called hormone of happiness are the causes of the development of this illness.

But anyway, there are positives sides of people with BPD — most of them are very talented, creative, inquisitive, and sociable. This is one of the main things you need to know about borderline personality disorder relationships. So, the main symptom of this illness is excessive dependence on outbursts of emotions and attitudes of other people. Hence, the lack of understanding of themselves and their desires.

What Is It Like to Date When You Have Borderline Personality Disorder?

While someone with depression or anxiety may feel that they are experiencing symptoms that are different from their normal state, people with personality disorders often fail to realize that their emotions and reactions depart from the typical human experience. People with borderline personality disorder BPD struggle to understand how wives, husbands, friends, and other family members experience their intense reactions, mood swings, and risky behavior.

Needless to say, if you have a loved one with BPD, life can be fraught with crises and conflict.

What It’s Really Like To Date Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s complicated but what relationship isn’t? fb · tw.

You might notice these symptoms are all related to relationships—with others and herself. This is not a coincidence. Intense relationships, fraught with conflict, are the hallmark of BPD. Your stable, reassuring presence in the life of someone experiencing BPD can help them get better. Here are some suggestions on how to further provide effective support, straight from people who live with BPD. BPD is not an easy condition to treat, but it is treatable.

Once they are in treatment, learn the language of that program and use it to offer support in times of need. For example: Learn the basics of the four skills of DBT—mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance and emotion regulation—and how you can help your loved one practice them. Someone with BPD may go out of their way to do things for you and make you happy because they want to receive love and affirmation in return.

You can combat this by showing your loved one you appreciate them and the things they do to make you happy. Individuals living with BPD are often looking for honest validation and love—so if you feel it, be open about it. We will get through this and I support you. This can lead to self-hatred and destructive behaviors.

9 Strategies for Supporting Someone with BPD

This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author’s own. First, you need to be able to recognize the signs that the person you are dating has BPD. Extreme highs and lows are the hallmark of a relationship with someone who has BPD. Initially, your BPD partner will place you on a pedestal until you come to believe you are as special as you are being told you are.

Then, suddenly and inexplicably, your partner will become aloof, emotionally and perhaps physically abusive, and then leave you feeling discarded.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) manifests itself in several ways but one of the most prevalent ways is through interpersonal relationships. This is why.

In short, people with NPD might be described as being very self-absorbed or egotistical. This self-absorption rises to the level of a clinical disorder because it significantly interferes with relationships, couple or other important games in life. Many experts believe that this egotistical style is actually the NPD individual’s attempt to deal with an underlying borderline sense of narcissist-worth.

There are a number of borderline reasons to believe that someone with both NPD and BPD would be less likely to get better over dating. People with NPD have been described as very resistant to abuse; people with NPD often have poor insight into the parents that their behaviors are detrimental to themselves or parents. Also, people with NPD may in fact cause more emotional pain to parents than they cause themselves.

Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personal disorder BPD relationships are often chaotic, intense, and conflict-laden. This can be especially true for romantic BPD relationships. If you are considering starting a relationship with someone with BPD, or are in one now, you need to educate yourself about the disorder and what to expect. Likewise, if you have been diagnosed with BPD, it can be helpful to think about how your symptoms have affected your dating life and romantic relationships.

In essence, people with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them.

As such, I’ll try and share my two cents on dating someone with BPD. One of the main symptoms of BPD, which I think is almost universal, is a.

Emptiness, shame, guilt, low self-worth, hopelessness – you might be experiencing some of these emotions at this very moment. Maybe you are perplexed as to what just happened to you. You might be in one or more of the following situations:. Before you can begin to regain your sanity, you must understand the dynamics of your relationship, including who you were dating, why were you dating them, and why it was destined to fail from the very beginning.

Why does this breakup hurt more than any other breakup? We are going to answer this question and much more. The answer is quite complex and there are many facets to consider. If you found this program, then most likely you have been rummaging the internet for information on borderline personality disorder in an attempt to make sense of things. Perhaps you had an aha moment like I did when I realized that I was dating a personality disordered individual.

Maybe you have been in excruciating pain for months and finally figured out that you were dating someone emotionally unstable after searching for any answers you could find. Enter your mobile number or email address below and we’ll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer – no Kindle device required. To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number. Would you like to tell us about a lower price?

How to Cope When a Partner or Spouse Has Borderline Personality Disorder

Dating can be a complex and tricky endeavor. Relationships require work, compromise, communication, empathy, and understanding. While the beginnings of a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder might take you to the greatest euphoric heights imaginable, it can also take you to the lowest lows.

Like the club Groucho Marx didn’t want to belong to, if somebody loves you, they must be an idiot because you know — your BPD tells you.

Borderline personality disorder is one of the most difficult mood disorders to live with, and certainly presents a complication when it comes to love and relationships. Here is what you need to know before dating someone with borderline personality disorder. Those with BPD often let their imaginations get the best of them. So when you make a plan with them, they have high hopes for it and have already gotten excited about particular details and ways they hope it will play out.

By continuing to use this site, you agree to our updated Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. MadameNoire is a sophisticated lifestyle publication that gives African-American women the latest in fashion trends, black entertainment news, parenting tips and beauty secrets that are specifically for black women. Black women seek information on a wide variety of topics including African-American hair care, health issues, relationship advice and career trends – and MadameNoire provides all of that.

Image Source: Shutterstock. Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. An Urban One Brand. Post to Cancel.

Romantic Relationships Involving People With BPD

At The Borderline …. All beginnings are lovely — or so the sage proclaims. Relationships per se are difficult. Two individuals come together — attraction, lust, love, personality styles, personal and family histories, attachment, and lifestyles collide — and there you are in the middle of a daring, challenging, and steamy relationship.

Just starting to date someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, please help. I am not % sure that I can continue to deal with this.

Dating someone with BPD Borderline Personality Disorder is not an impossible task despite what you often read about on the internet. A relationship with a Borderline is highly possible and fun as long as you understand the key principles needed to make BPD relationships work. Nothing beats that. That aura of confidence just sucks guys right in, makes her so much more beautiful.

Here are the important factors that you need to know right now so you can begin to implement these in your current and future relationships:. I know that BPD relationships are complicated.

How to love a person with BPD